“You have theatre, I have The Bachelor”

4 min readMay 9, 2020

May 9, 2020, 6:46 pm
Filed under: art, theatre, TV, writing | Tags: artistic engagement, artistic practice, hobbies, Marianne Moore, poetry, The Bachelor, theatre

Note: This is another one of these I wrote a few months ago and I just couldn’t figure out how to adapt for this moment. I suppose all I could add is what I wrote in my previous blog about appreciating even the worst theatre more now. I don’t dislike theatre so much at this moment because there is none but I hope it will be back soon for me to dislike just as much as before. Anyway: here are some thoughts from before.

I’m an artist who tends to hang out with other artists so I sometimes have trouble making sense of, or being made sense of by, non-artists. Sometimes I discover how dramatically different our world views can be, such as when an acquaintance of mine said something like, “You have theatre, I have The Bachelor.” It was sort of a joke but I think to them it felt like a real equivalency. It helped me see that there are probably many who believe that my relationship to theatre, to writing, to the arts is like being a fan of something or having a hobby they really enjoy. This explains a lot.

Because, for me, and for a lot of artists like me, dedicating our lives to our artistic process or craft is nothing like a hobby and nothing like being a fan. We don’t do it because it’s fun or we like it. Most of us do it because we have to — because anything else is a pale imitation of the life we want. Most artists love and hate their art in equal measure in a complicated relationship of adoration and despair. Is your relationship to The Bachelor so complicated? Or do you just like to watch it on a Monday night?

Did you sacrifice any hope of a normal life for your love of The Bachelor? Did you forgo a decent job with a decent salary for a shot to audition for a show? Did you skip having a family because it would be so hard to balance with your love of the show? Did you throw yourself on the mercy of the world with hopes that it would take your offering of your sweat, your blood, your labor, your practice, your nerves, your time, your hopes, your dreams and return them to you in some form? Did you do that for The Bachelor? No? Then what we have is a little bit different.

I’m not a fan of theatre. I don’t like it.

One of the greatest American poets, Marianne Moore, wrote a poem called “Poetry” that begins, “I, too, dislike it.” To someone who hasn’t dedicated their life to an art, it might seem weird to dislike the thing you’ve dedicated your life to — but to me, it’s the most logical and poignant experience of being an artist. I, too, dislike theatre. I love it more than anything and it breaks my heart over and over and over. I dislike it a lot most of the time. I’ve sacrificed any semblance of a normal life for it and that choice feels as though it was made for me so long ago, I never really had a choice about it.

I, too, dislike it: there are things that are important
beyond
all this fiddle.

Maybe you do feel like that about The Bachelor. I don’t know your life and I mean no disrespect to Bachelor fans who feel deeply about their show of choice. But being a fan of something tends to be different than a lifelong commitment to an artistic practice that will break your heart.

Enjoying knitting is one thing. Dedicating yourself to knitting a scale model of New York City in surrealist colors is another. One is a hobby. The other is an art. I think it may be important to understand the distinction — especially as it relates to support for the arts.

People who believe the arts are fun hobbies are not inclined to support them. They think — no one supports their model train hobby, why should they support the theatre or ballet or musicians or whatever? And the answer is because they are not the same. They are not the same. They are not the same.