The S* My D* Party

5 min readNov 16, 2020

The S*** My D*** Party

Warning: Extreme crude-ness witnessed on the street which led me to explore the extreme crude-ness and expand upon it. Be forewarned. There is one crude phrase in this and you’re going to see it a lot.

The day they called the election for Joe Biden, (What are we calling this day, by the way? It wants a name, the way there was V day.) I ended up at the spontaneous party on a random corner. People danced. They cheered. They clapped. They shouted exuberantly at passing cars that honked their horns in reply. The street was vibrating with joy. It was an ebullient wonder to behold and participate in.

Then suddenly, from up the block, came a man shouting angrily. He shouted “suck my dick” over and over again as he walked straight into the heart of the festivities. I heard him before I saw him and was surprised to discover a young Latino man where I had expected an old white one. Why was THIS man so mad at the celebration of the triumph of democracy in the street? How could a young man whose interests and family would likely have been destroyed by Trump’s party be drawn to them and mad about the defeat? What could the appeal possibly be for him?

And that’s when I realized that a man who shouts “suck my dick” as he walks down the street is, of course attracted to the “suck my dick” energy of the current manifestation of the Republican party. He’s into the “suck my dick” GOP. He likes the combative, inappropriate, rude, rule breaking vibes. He likes a president who’s open about sexual assault. Grabbing women “by the pussy” is part of the appeal. He likes Senators who make up new rules and break them after they make them. Those senators might not actually SAY “suck my dick” after they flout all the rules but they have HIGH “suck my dick” energy.

Oh, the country needs relief from a Global pandemic? Ha ha. Suck my dick. At eight months before, it’s too close to the election to confirm a Supreme Court justice. Suck my dick, Merrick Garland! And now, eight days before the election, we’ll just go ahead and confirm this patriarchal handmaiden that hardly anyone actually wants in the position because — Suck My Dick! Voting Rights? Suck my dick! Equal justice under the law for everyone? Suck my dick! Medical personnel need PPE? Suck my dick! Democracy? Suck my dick.

The yelling guy at the party is attracted to the cruelty and nihilism of the toxic waste dump of masculinity we’ve been living in. He doesn’t know what nihilism is, of course — but he recognizes “suck my dick” energy when he sees it. I have really been struggling trying to understand how so many people could vote (AGAIN!) for the walking violation in office and somehow this kid who wanted a street full of happy people to suck his dick, and not in a fun way, has shown me what’s at play for a lot of people.

The clues have been there. All the talk of joy at liberal tears and derisive laughter at tragic family separations and covid deaths? It’s all just “suck my dick” at its heart. I didn’t want to believe it. I don’t like to think of my countrymen as being purposefully cruel, even when they are racist and sexist and terrifying. But I think, if it’s not all of them, it’s an awful lot of them. An awful lot. They see us having a good time, enjoying each other in all our beautiful diversity and they just want to shout at us to suck their dicks.

They look around and they find a group of people and a political party where that sort of behavior is not only tolerated, but is celebrated and so they band together and have a good time leaning into insulting and attacking all the people they find fun to hate. That’s what binds them together. It’s the suck my dick grand old party and it can’t be nowhere near as fun as the party on the street, but somehow it appeals to them.

What I am comforted by, though, was how, on the day the election was called, the party on the street responded to this guy shouting. That is, it didn’t. The party took absolutely no notice of Mr Suck My Dick. No one gave him even a look. Mr. Dick wanted a fight and absolutely everyone was too busy enjoying the day to notice him at all. He passed through the party like a wind and was gone. I hope the entire Suck My Dick GOP passes similarly.