The Gen X Nod
The Gen X Nod
Ever since I realized we were outnumbered, I have been keeping my eyes open for my generational peers. We are harder and harder to find — for reasons that are not entirely clear to me. (How can there only be one Gen X-er in EVERY office? Don’t some Gen X-ers work together? Where IS everyone?) But my sense is that we’re all doing this keeping our eyes open for each other now, to some degree. I’ve noticed a new thing happening — a sort of guarded acknowledgment of one another — it is the Gen X nod.
Now, generally, New Yorkers prefer not to acknowledge one another’s existence and Gen X New Yorkers have historically been loathe to acknowledge anyone at all but because we’re on the look out for one another, when we spot someone we know would bust a move on “ Blister in the Sun “ without hesitation or just really understand our childhood cultural references, we nod. It’s the kind of a nod that is not REALLY a nod, it could be missed entirely or denied. (“Did you nod at me?” “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”) But it’s become a weirdly regular thing out in the world. We’re just nodding at total strangers who are about our age — out of solidarity, I guess? I’m finding it kind of comforting, truth be told.
My community has more or less disintegrated but I can get some cool generational solidarity with a tiny nod.
We’re all too cool to do much more than nod. But we can nod.
I’m wondering, as time goes on, and we became more and more invisible as we age, if the nod will lead to actual words and maybe even conversation. I think it depends on how desperate we might feel, or how isolated. Lord knows, if I found a single other Gen X-er in that island that started this generational analysis for me, I’d have grabbed them and gotten the story.
Meanwhile, I suppose the nod has always been in play in our generation. In college it was hard to get anyone to say hello or to wave. You felt lucky to get a little nod. A friend of mine had an ex on campus with whom she was still friendly but when he saw her out in public, he would not say hello. He was too cool for that.
We’ve always been a little too cool for that. Until now. Now we’re going with the nod, I see. And I find I really like it. It’s a way to say, “I see you. I’m still here. You’re still here. It’s not easy and we’re mostly on our own but we’re still here. We see each other.”
Not everyone’s doing it. I saw a few Gen X-ers on the train recently and rather than nods, there was a sort of wary scanning. It was like the old school vibe of: “Are you cool enough for me to talk to? Hmm. I don’t know. Maybe next time.” We’re doing that, too. As we did back in college. But — a lot of the time, we are, most of us, definitely cool enough — just by virtue of being one of the few. Gen X’s vibe has always been that we’re cooler than you and we’re not letting that point of pride go. No way. We can outcool you. We are cooler than ourselves. We are champions at appearing like we don’t care. Even when we do.
As I begin to move away from being able to pass for much younger the way I’ve done the last decade or so, the Gen X nod feels like a kind of consolation. As the world starts to see me less, Gen X sees me more and will (maybe) give me the nod.
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Originally published at http://artiststruggle.wordpress.com on December 6, 2019.
